what's up

This week's not been awesome. I'm not sure where I'm headed, and I don't know what I want. I do feel a lot of sadness not being with my ex-girlfriend. I don't know if this break-up-slash-pause is a good thing or not. The positive is that it's a change for me, and I needed a change. It's a trigger that is going to have an impact. But it's really difficult. And I hate it. But I guess it's part of life. Hey, so I tried meditation but I'm bad at keeping up at it. I'm much better at drinking a glass or two. Sometimes I'm unsure how much of a friend I am with my own mind. You know that feeling when it's 2am and you want to sleep and all of a sudden you start thinking about something you really don't want to think about? Well that happens a lot. Why though?

So I'm cleaning. Both physically and mentally. Put things in boxes. Throw things away. Wash some stuff. There's a sense of progression. I wouldn't say I like it but hey, it keeps me busy. I'm also enjoying more and more reading articles from strangers on this platform. I love to connect and see what others are experiencing. I don't need images or movies. Simple text works better for me. It doesn't need to be fancy as long as it's honest.

So last week for me was about reflecting and seeing how things are. What did I learn? First, that I'm bad a keeping up with something. Second, that my work eats all my time and prevents me from thinking about myself. I've also seen that sad songs don't help me at all. Quite the contrary. Listening to positive songs improves my overall mood. I've also seen that I'm bad at eating well. Man, I think last week I only had burgers and pizza the evening. Thankfully I can eat healthy at lunch. I opened up about my personal situation (breakup) with a bunch of people and everyone's been very understanding, even co-workers. I used not to open up, but I did, and I'm glad.

Now I need to take some time off to reflect and know what my next move will be. Next week I'll see when I can take that time off. Very bad timing since I'm welcoming two people in my team who are extremely motivated. I will try my best to see how I can arrange that best.

Today I've gotten myself back to programming. Python, to be precise. I'm starting a side project of a writing service heavily inspired by write.as, since I like it a lot. I'm curious about the engagement aspect, and want to see what we can built that makes it simple for people to engage and know they've been mentioned. But I want to stay true simplicity. But I'm mainly doing it for fun!

That was a lengthy update!